Szókincs fejlesztés: 8 Challenging Questions to Build a Life You Want
So many of us are aware of what we’d like to change about our lives. We aspire to be healthier, more productive, more serene, to enjoy time with our families and maintain inbox 0. The question is not what we want, it is why there are so many psychological barriers in place preventing us from taking the necessary steps to create it.
You do not need more insight into why it’s a good idea to wake up early, eat more greens or not check your email more than 3 times/day. We’ve all been beat over the head with the principles required to create a healthy, sustainable life. The solution is really identifying the unconscious attachments we have to our coping mechanisms.
You can begin here, by asking yourself the following questions and trying to answer as honestly as possible:
- What tasks irritate me the most on any given day?
It’s normal to be indifferent about some tasks, and passionate about others. This is part of the healthy balance of maintaining a career or running a business. However, it is abnormal to feel significantly irritated by certain clients or responsibilities on a day-to-day basis. Noting what makes you most frustrated can alert you to something that you should either be delegating, or not doing at all. Either way, it will alert you to whatever aspects are most in need of your attention.
- What do I strongly envy in others?
That which you envy in others is not what you dislike about them, it’s what you deeply desire, but will not let yourself have. What you are most jealous of is the key to understanding what you most want out of life.
- In what ways am I resisting my own success?
Almost everyone self-sabotages in one way or another. This is because, as beings wired to prefer and even seek out comfort, the newness of success and stability can actually be uncomfortable. You have to identify the ways in which you are resisting your own greatness, simply because it’s foreign, or makes you feel uneasy.
- What do I want to feel each day?
There are two ways people select goals: either by imagining how it will make others perceive them, or imagining how it will make them feel each day. It is the people who build out their ambitions around the daily routine they want, and the feelings they want to experience, that are ultimately more successful, because they are inherently more motivated. For example, instead of saying: “I want more money,” try something like: “I want to feel financially free, and proud that I paid of X amount of debt,” or whatever the case may be.
- What activates my productivity?
What makes you tick, and what makes you flow? What circumstances or projects or challenges do you really thrive in? Identifying what it is that totally lights you up is essential to deciding how you really want to spend your time in life.
- What triggers a strong emotional response in me?
Whether it’s what you hate, love, dream of or can’t tolerate, anything that gives you a strong emotional reaction is worth noting. Something you feel passionately about is often something you have a general interest in, and when matched with your natural skill and dedicated practice, can result in landing on your niche. On the other hand, something that makes you highly uncomfortable or filled with disdain or disappointment can also point you in the direction of where you need to place your attention. In either case, action can and should be taken.
- If I sit down and imagine my future self, what do I see?
Many people know about child self work (or inner self work). In therapy, you can be coached to recall your younger self, and through that process, glean a lot of wisdom and recovery from trauma experienced at that time. In the same way, you can also do “future self work,” in which you imagine what you would like your most ideal older self to be like, and then reverse engineer your way from there.
- What lifelong struggle am I willing to see change?
The first step toward total self-transformation is not actually hitting rock bottom. (Or, at least, it doesn’t have to be.) In many cases, it is simply the willingness to see something change — even if you have failed at every other attempt — that yields the best results. The reality is that as soon as you are open to seeing something differently, that part of your life does shift, even slightly. Unless you are open to seeing the impossible made possible, it will never be so.
to be aware – tisztában lenni valamivel
to aspire – törekedni
serene – nyugodt
to beat over the head – beleverni valaki fejébe (átv.)
unconscious – öntudatlan
coping mechanisms – védekező mechanizmus
indifferent – nemtörődöm
passionate – szenvedélyes
to delegate – kiszervezni
to envy – irigykedni
self-sabotages – önszabotázs
to identify – azonosítani
foreign – szokatlan
to make someone tick – motiválni
circumstances – körülmények
to thrive in – elmerülni
niche – szakterület
disdain – megvetés
to reverse engineer – visszakövetkeztetni
self-transformation – önmagunk átalakulása
to hit rock bottom – a gödör aljára kerülni (átv.)
willingness – hajlandóság